It's out there

When us mere mortals are looking to join an online community to connect with the rest of the world, we get an enviable long list of choices like Friendster, Multiply, hi5 and such.

For the Really Rich & Fabulous set, they are quite content with just a single option - aSmallWorld.

A private online community of the world's jet-set elite, and renowned for its very restricted membership, aSmallWorld features an exclusive mix of business tycoons, American socialites, old-school family names, nouveau-riche newcomers and minor European royalty, and of course, celebrities.

In other words, if you happen to find yourself invited to aSmallWorld (membership is strictly upon invitation by existing members), you are likely to find yourself two or three friends away from a direct connection wtih Herbert William Hoover IV - from the clan whose family name is synonymous with vacuum cleaners, Ivanka Trump, daughter of Mr. Donald "You're Fired" Trump, and Quentin Tarantino, among other big personalities.

Your friends' profiles will typically feature photos taken at shoots for renowned magazines too, probably Vogue. And instead of in-your-face ads that say "Lose 30 lbs in 30 days", you will be greeted by sleek advertising from companies that want to introduce a gorgeous new toy to your existing yatch collection.

Just to illustrate the point further, a typical question on the forum will be along the line of, "Is Dior having its St Tropez party again this year?". Note: This will be posted by people who are not asking out of plebian curiosity, but real insiders who are expecting a personalised invitation.

All these may take a little bit of getting-used-to, of course. Especially if you have grown very accustomed to friends who insist on assuming online identities like TechnoFreak, Barbie or DarthVader, complete with profiles that see them giving a death-stare while straddling their bikes, or looking up coyly at camera-phones held 15cm above eye-level.

There's no hurry, though. Most of us will probably need a few lifetimes before we get anywhere near anyone who has the clout to invite us into this inner sanctum. Well, unless Ivanka Trump happens to descend in Singapore for a backpacking trip (just to experience the simple life, you know), get lost in Chinatown, and form a strong girly bond with me when I happen to be at the right place and at the right time to offer some assistance.

Oh forget it - I am happy with Friendster.


P.S. Obviously, I couldn't go beyond the Welcome Page of aSmallWorld.net. But from what little I had seen, I can't help but ask - although money can't buy you taste, surely it can buy you the services of a good web designer?

               Ivanka Trump                          Quentin Tarantino

Becky Bloomwood is back with a baby!

Goody goody...one of my favourite characters in the Land of Chick-Lit is back with the latest must-have fashion accessory - a baby!

Though I have waved goodbye to most of my shopping desires, there's no question that dear Becky Bloomwood's hilarious antics alone will provide me hours of delightful escapism. It helps that she now has a near picture-perfect life too (Read: A filthy rich, drop-dead gorgeous, and extremely devoted husband).

*Dreamy sigh*

It's time to hit the bookstore!

Click for an excerpt of Shopaholic & Baby from Sophie Kinsella's Official Website

P.S. Yea yea yea, I know it is a cotton-candy read that will never be in the running for a Nobel Prize in Literature...but nobody has to be all-serious all the time! Life is not meant to be that punishing. And oh, if you think her Shopaholic series is pure fluff, then perhaps you should try your hand at writing a novel that debuts at #1 on New York Times hardcover fiction list! ; )

<<白色巨塔>> -- 佳句

台湾以医院和医生为故事背景的剧集 <<白色巨塔>> 的对白充满了让我有共鸣的佳句。一点都不像新加坡剧集里那些典型的台词。句句生活化，却又还很优雅，也很有画面，很真实。(故事大纲)


“我们每个人都背负着过去曾经犯下的错误活着，我们必须学习跟自己最不堪的那部分相处，因为生命没有办法重来，因为我们是大人。”
~ 我的人生中没有太不堪的部分，但也确实曾经犯下许多让自己深感后悔的大大小小的错误。“因为生命没有办法重来” 这句话，我也曾经说过。。。我后悔自己犯下了一些错误，但是我无论再怎么后悔，也无法让时间倒转，回到过去去更改历史。唯一能做的，就只有谨记着得到的教训，不再让自己犯回一样的错，并用以后的时间来补救，改进。

“你年纪越大，你就眼看着命运，一样一样地选择你。你还能有什么选择，人生就是这样，过了某一个点，就再也回不去了。”
~ 很认同，但也绝对不肯屈服。只能提醒自己，每一个选择和决定，都要思考清楚，尽量不要让自己走到不能再回头的那个点。即使到了那个点，也还是不能屈服，不能轻言放弃。

“有时候遇到一些事情，我自问所有角度我都想过了，而且该用力的地方我也用力了，我也努力做到了，我就觉得没有问题了，这个事情搞定，一切都会很好。但是不一定，只要老天爷一个弹指，就不一样了，什么事情都不一样了。”
~ 这或许就是人生的无奈。。。但是，怨老天爷也没用。要嘛，就以正面，积极的态度和老天爷拼一拼。否则就以正面，积极的态度接受，然后重新出发。

“真正的勇气是用来追求那种简单的幸福。。。当我们在做我们想做的事，天堂就是我们一伸手就能碰到的地方。如果你要幸福，你要坚定地伸出手，去做你想要做的事，去爱你身边最爱的人。不要等，因为幸福从来没有离开过，只是你没有看见。”
~ 我们往往在拼了命追求幸福时，都忘了问自己幸福究竟是什么。幸福真有那么难求吗？又或则只是我们一直都不敢相信简单就是幸福？要愿意满足于简单，真的需要勇气。我也在努力地在培养那股勇气。

曾经重要的一切，原来并不重要。。。

不知道从哪一天，哪一刻开始，我对人生的看法再也不一样了。

或许是当身边的朋友，很年轻的朋友们，相继在一夜之间与世长辞。

或许是当我一而再地听闻身旁认识的人，一直都蛮健康的人，突患重病。

人生的无常让我很害怕。。。真的很害怕。

什么时候会发生什么事，似乎不太由得我们来决定。

但我不是悲观。

相反地，这一切让我开始思索人生中究竟什么最重要，什么才是最值得我们劳心费神地去追求，什么最值得我们去珍惜。

一度为了想在事业上拼出成绩，得到满足感和认同，可以废寝忘食，以健康来做交换，也因为压力大而放纵自己对家人发脾气。最后当自己撑得最辛苦时，还是依赖着家人无条件的支持和关怀才过了关。

我还是很愿意为事业打拼，还是不介意因事业而活在气压锅里头，还是会心甘情愿地放弃睡眠。

但是，今天，这一切都要有限度。

我明白很多时候有些事是不能尽如人意的。我所热爱的每一项工作都不太可能允许我对付出的时间和精神设限。

所以我必须学习如何放轻松但却不松懈。

可是如果真的得做出选择，我还是会选择活得自在，活得健康。

当然还有家人。。。

我好爱我的家人，虽然偶尔还是会大吵大闹。

对我而言，家人和健康一样，都排第一位。

我和家人的感情一向都很好。但是，一直以来，都似乎没有很认真地珍惜过，直到最近。

以往，若在工作之余有时间，一定会很想找朋友去喝两杯。

现在，我大多会更想回家和妈妈，爸爸，还有两只超可爱的小狗们聚一聚。
就这么三个人和两只狗，开开心心地度过时光。

我也是时候和姐姐一家，还有阿姨们和表哥表弟们多通电话或一起用餐什么的。

有时候觉得很可笑 - - 我们很愿意花很多的时间和精神去经营和上司，客户，同事和朋友，甚至邻居，的关系。到最后，和家人之间的感情却淡薄得很。

上司，客户，同事，朋友和邻居都很重要，但说到底，也是能被取代的。

家人，尤其是父母，若失去了或来不及珍惜，或许就是一辈子的遗憾。

其实，对人重要的，往往也是能让我们觉得快乐的。

只要懂得分清楚什么才是重要的，快乐，其实很简单。

西天取完了经，东边应该还有。。。Part 2

上个星期的今天，我终于结束了近五年的西游记。

一开始的时候，从来没想过这段旅程竟然会持续那么久。

去年，一位多年的好战友也离开了我们熟悉的避风港到外头去闯。。。就像五月天在<<孙悟空>>里所唱的一样“西天取完了经，东边应该还有"。

现在是轮到我去探索东边奥妙的时候了。

巧的是，今天刚刚发现电视台最近正在下午重播新传媒连续剧<<东游记>>。

对于离开，我百感交集。

只是，大概也没谁看得出来。因为一直到我在那避风港的最后一天，我还是一贯的疯疯颠颠，一副不把离开放在心上，满不在乎的样子。

我不是难过。。。因为我确实很想很想很想离开。

我也不是舍不得。。。因为除了在那里得到的工作经验和非常难的“我们是同事，也是好朋友”似的友情，没什么好舍不得的。何况，工作经验和友情，是绝对带得走的。

只是，那个避风港，毕竟是一个我待了近五年的地方。

除了周末，公共假期，病假和年假以外，那是我近五年来，天天报到的地方。

算起来，我二子头的岁月，有一大半是在那里度过的。

22岁踏进了避风港，27岁离开。

把脑海里的记忆翻一翻，还能清楚的看见自己刚刚报到时的青涩模样。就连当时心理在想的话，现在仿佛也还能听得见。一切似乎很近，但却很遥远。

这些年里，人生中没什么大不了和了不起的事发生。但是，东凑西凑地，许多小事 - 无论是关于事业或生活 - 都一点一滴地慢慢让我变得不一样了。我说不上来这是件好事或坏事。只知道，不一样了。

我还挺怀念以前的自己。

或许这就是为什么离开避风港让我百感交集。

我向一段岁月，向某一个自己，说再见了。

P.S. 致亲爱的前同事/好朋友们：能够在一间公司里，结识那么多位不搞心机，不勾心斗角，能够交心的好朋友是一个难的的福气。。。我非常的珍惜，也非常的感谢！这趟旅程，最大的收获，就是你们！多谢了，Ah Kiat, Silly Shelley, Weiying, Mandy, Lyonne, Emily, Karen, Amanda, Ashley, Andy, Leslie and Daniel!!!

There goes my laptop

The premature death of my laptop is probably the best illustration of "Everything happens for a reason".

Now I have a perfectly legitmate excuse (to myself) to get a MacBook.

But before that, I will have to do without my connection to the world when I am not at work for a little while.

Bumper.

祝你生日快乐

致：影响我至深的你，

虽然不知道你此刻身在世界的哪个角落， 但在这里，我诚恳地，由衷地，祝愿你身体永远健康，生命里一直都满载幸福。。。

遗失的美好之 - 单纯

看了几集的<<冲上云霄>>之后，心中涌现了一些感触。

其中，尤其感叹“单纯”是多么容易遗失的人性特质。

这部连续剧应该也有至少一两年的历史了吧。而在这段日子里，在戏中饰演一名21岁，开朗，知足及乐天的机场地勤人员胡杏儿，也从香港电视台的小家碧玉晋升成为当家花旦之一。对于近来越来越深感自己无论是心境或躯体都正在急速老化的我来说，她在戏里那天真烂漫的气质 - 尤其是眼神 - 是无比的让人羡慕及嫉妒。

但是经过戏末那几年的洗礼后，我发现如今在杂志或报章里看到的她，眼神多了些深沉，而单纯的味道却已近乎不复存在。即使仍然是在戏剧里扮演年轻及讨喜的角色，但就是不一样了。

成长的过程 - 身份，地位，和经历的不同 - 难道非得让夺走可贵的单纯吗？

小孩的快乐来自单纯，长大了却恨不得快点抛掉单纯来换得所谓的智慧与成就。

不值得。。。但在单纯是被视为一种性格和处世缺陷的人生阶段里，也似乎没的选择。

何况，单纯往往是在每一天的纷纷扰扰中，不知不觉遗失的。


P.S. 我常认为，真正出卖人类年龄的罪魁祸首不是眼睛周围的皱纹，而是咱们的眼神。就好比一位拥有好演技的30来岁演员不论化上再怎么棒的老妆也无法真正神似一位60岁老父/妇 - 就因为眼神。

Cherish life and love - for they can be lost in a heartbeat

My Primary School playmate held her wedding last Saturday.

And because we had lost touch for a long time till we finally met once before her wedding, I did not experience the usual excitement I have when attending most weddings, for I do not know the slightest bit of history of her courtship with her husband.

However, when pictures of their courting days started flashing on those two huge screens in the banquet hall, I found myself silently and consistently chanting, "Let them be happy, healthy and true to each other way into the future".

I know that makes me seem like one extremely maudlin weirdo, but those wishes came naturally and sincerely, because - let's face it - love and marriage are such fragile items these days, and life is so unpredictable.

Especially when a friend of mine had a huge row with her boyfriend just a day before the wedding and freaked me out big-time with the ensuing drama, one which jolted me wide awake from my deep slumber and saw me making a mad dash to the hospital.

While another acquaintance passed away as a result of a failed lap-band surgery to lose weight, mere months after he got married.

Ok now I have gone from maudlin to morbid.

Anyway, the point is, many recents events have made me realised just how fragile and unpredictable everything is, and nothing should ever be taken for granted.

Night.

Dawn Leng + Dementia

This is hilarious.

Out of mere boredom, I googled myself just to see how many other "Dawn Leng" are there in the universe, and for a hint of the kind of world they inhabit.

Apparently, there are not that many around...at least not in cyberspace.

Then I came across this sentence, "Hello! This Dawn Leng here...I am too lazy to apply for a Blogger account thus chose to post this "anonymously. I read this in yesterday's Lianhe Zaobao' supplement..."

Another "Dawn Leng" right here in Singapore?!

This I got to see!

I clicked on the site and that sentence turns out to be a comment posted to a female blogger.

On and on I read, and there's stuff like "Berlin" mentioned in it, which intrigued me, so I ploughed on.

And then suddenly, it all came back to me - and you would probably have guessed it by now, it was posted by yours truly!

I can't believe how preachy I sound...but then again, it sounds like me! ; )

Here is the entry:

"Hello! This Dawn Leng here...I am too lazy to apply for a Blogger account thus chose to post this "anonymously".

I read this in yesterday's Lianhe Zaobao' supplement: Berlin was completely ravaged and devastated during the World War II – but that also opened up the opportunity for her to be rebuilt in various whole new ways.

Like the quote you placed in this blog article, success is never final and failure is never fatal. A loss of opportunity might just be the thing that opens up new avenues of possiblities for you – possibilities that never once occurred to you or might have occurred to you but never taken seriously as you were busy being stuck somewhere.

Now that life is temporarily free and easy for you, you can afford some time to really think about what you want or where you intend to head.

Don't be in too much of a hurry, but be careful not to drag your feet subconsciously too. As long as you are fully aware of what you are doing (and fully aware that you are really NOT finding excuses for yourself), you shouldn't have to bother with others' "loafer" comments. Sometimes, a really good break is really essential to moving on, but I still maintain this – as long as you are really sure you know what you are doing.

According to the article, Berlin is today the very unique, creative and bustling capital of Germany. It is a capital that is very different to the concepts that most people have of capitals – not everyone would be in love with her, but those who can appreciate what she has to offer, falls truly, madly and deeply in love.

This is the lesson the Berlin article has taught me...doom is really the beginning of boom (if you possess the right attitude and regularly check that the attitude in question is indeed still moving you in the direction you want), and that if you intend to be different, you will have to be prepared to deal with the fact that you will invite controversy (not necessarily in a good way all the time), and not everyone will love you (but those who do truly do).

And last but not least, even if your so-called chosen direction is "unpredictable and different", you still have got to know exactly what you are doing (even if it may seems to others you are just making a mad dash to nowhere).Heehee sorry if I got too preachy...hahaha ignore me if it sounds totally irrelevant to you...I am just triggered off by how nicely your current situation fits in with the lesson I learnt from the Berlin article and thought it would be nice to share it with you."

Hahaha.

Leavin on a jet plane - alone

For some time now, I have been toying with the idea of travelling alone.

There is great joy in travelling with best friends who share your sense of humour and definition of amusement, of course.

But there is also something in travelling alone - make that a certain romance, and a quiet appreciation of the sights and scenes - that travelling in pair/pack simply can't offer.

What's stopping me from taking off on my own and experiencing the table-for-one-please trip somewhere a little further away from home then?

The supernatural.

I really, really, really, can't cope with staying in a hotel room all on my own...let alone take a shower in there. More than one scary movie had warned me that hotel's bathrooms are usually where all the 'actions' begin.

If only I can request to stay in the hotel lobby or something...and get a staff to accompany me to my twice-daily showers in an unoccupied room.

That would be so perfect.

Compliments from client give me wings - but I nearly got branded as a bimbo!

Hang on a second.

Let me anchor myself properly before I begin.

You see, I have been working on various jobs of various genres for this particular biggie client ever since I started working for my heavenly-cum-homely company.

Years passed as I try to hone my copywriting skills and tame my brain day after day after day.

Then one fine day, compliments from them started coming my way...obviously, elation is an understatement.

And then it happened.

One member of the client came down for a meeting at my office...and told my colleague she would like to meet me.

My client would like to see the face behind the works and the face in question looked like death warmed over - how nice.

I panicked.

I squealed to the colleague having the meeting with said client, "NOOOOOO...I LOOKED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT!"

And then I began a mad rush to search for foundation, concealer, toothbrush, toothpaste...

Then I waited.

And waited.

And I saw the client leaving.

My colleague had sent her away, out of kindness for me...I did tell her I would rather not meet her when I looked like a piece of shit, right?

Oh no.

Thankfully, the client reappeared a few moments later to collect some stuff she accidentally left behind, and having clarified my stand with my colleague (out of earshot of the client, of course), I was finally introduced.

Phew.

I was at fault.

I should have watched my words.

I just did not expect to my colleague to take those words quite so seriously. I mean, did she really think I would find it acceptable to turn down a client's request to meet me? Especially when the client did know that I was in the office at the time?

Good thing everything worked out in the end.

And I am happy.

A significant day in my life...perhaps a life-changing one.

Last Friday was a significant day in my life.

Many of my friends got quite excited over it.

I wore a frilly girly dress for the first time in years.

And it is a 100% interpretation of femininess without my usual funk or rock touches.

I do not even do skirts (except on occasions when I had to be a 'jie mei' to my friends or colleagues), let alone a frilly girly dress, which explained their disbelief and excitement.

"Jian Huo, serious ah?! I find it hard to believe, take some pictures and send it to me?!"

"ARE YOU SERIOUS???!!! THIS I GOT TO SEE!!!"

"What happened???!!!"

"WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

Hmmm.

Well...I am proud to say that I think I pulled it off quite competently.

A new-found friend that night told me that, on first impression, she thought I was one of those really girlish, really sweet kinda girl.

See? Told you I pulled it off quite competently.

In fact, I think I might go the way of sweet in my styling from now on.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Just kidding.

Then again, I just might.

We shall see.

I had firecrackers in my ears!

I went for my virgin ear candling session today.

It was a spur-of-the-moment decision after my facial and thus, without having done any research or asking around, I had absolutely no idea what to expect.

And I certainly did not expect to have firecrackers going off in my ears.

It was unnerving alright, but not exactly uncomfortable. The uneasiness stemmed more from the fear of all the cackling and popping sounds that hovered at the top of my head from the burning of the candle rather than from the procedure itself.

In fact, once I got over the shock, it was pretty enjoyable. The therapist got me to tilt my head to lie on my ear and a candle was inserted into the other one. She then lit the candle and all the cackling and popping began. As those were going on, she gently massaged my head and especially the area around my ear, presumably to encourage the gunk to be sucked up.

I did a casual check on google later and there seems to be two general schools of thoughts with regard to ear candling - those who advocate it, and those who are against.

Anyway, I learnt that I am supposed to experience a heightened sense of hearing due to all the gunk that were cleared. Well, it hasn't happened yet, so far.

Next time, I will ask them to do an autopsy on the candle to show me the gunk that came out.

I can't wait!

Desaru Dreamin'

It is now in the early hours of Sunday, 18 June 2006 as I am writing this.

That means in about 2 full days later, I will be transported to a laid-back world of nothing more than sun, sand and the sea.

Humble Desaru, here I come!

Many questioned my choice of destination.

Well, let's just say that my friend and I have made the most out of what little we have in our banks.

There really are not many beach resorts out of Singapore and Sentosa and Pulau Ubin that can allow us to veg out for 5D4N at a very reasonable $312 per person. And we are taking the Premier Room too, hahaha.

And then there is the journey.

Destinations like Redang, Perhentian and Tioman involve too much logistic issues.

We need a vacation to relax and recharge our fast-dying batteries...not grapple with endless hours of trying hard not to puke on the bus or wondering why we ever agree to suffer like this in the first place.

No, we are not snobs, as you can tell from our final choice of destination. We simply want something simple and straightforward, that's all.

And Desaru is as good as it can get.

I took a trip there once back in 2002, and the journey was short and very much enjoyable.

We boarded a ferry that looked more like a yatch at Tanah Merah Ferry Terminal, and proceeded to climb to the open-air top deck to take in the wind, sun and lovely view, where we ended up staying for the rest of the 45-minute journey.

Upon reaching the immigration and customs house at the jetty, a quiet and old-world charm greeted us. From there, a bus journey of about an hour or less later, we arrived at our resort.

We spent our days strolling along the near deserted white sand beach while accompanied by the huge expanse of equally deserted sea, disturbing the lalas that kept popping up from the sand, and crafting 3D sexy bikini babes out of the sand.

At night, we gobbled down the Nissin Instant Cup noodles we brought with us in the comfort our room (I was even poorer then), which is kinda like room service. I am a master of positive-thinking, as you can see.

Writing about the trip now makes me wish that it is Tuesday tomorrow, which will signify the start of my beach vacation!

But I have not started packing yet...a 5D4N trip away from home will entail a fair amount of packing, even if it is just humble Desaru that I am going to!

And I have not gotten all the essentials like shampoo, shower cream, sun block (I am so so so over my sun-tanning phase after 3 horribly scary bad sunburnts in my life), Po Chai Pills (I always get stomach upset after hotel breakfast from the amount of warm and cold rubbish I consume), insect repellent, slippers, etc etc etc.

Time to hit the bed, anyway!

Shit is the best fertilizer

Like the season of broken hearts as mentioned in an earlier entry, my friends from various circles are also in various stages of 'depression', over various reasons.

I added inverted commas to that word, depression, for they are definitely not going through real depression. Not yet, anyway. I would say they are depressed, but to say they are in a real depression would be a bit of a stretch.

But if they do not work something out soon, they may soon be.

The thing is, shit happens in life, even to the nicest, most decent, more responsible, most intelligent, most disciplined, most careful, most well-adjusted people.

And when I say that, I don't mean it in a bitter way - absolutely not.

Shit is the really the best fertilzer...I cannot stress this enough.

Be it problems at work...a particularly difficult client, a connundrum in terms of advancement...or problems in a relationship, one can learn many lessons from them, even if things don't work out in the end, and become stronger and wiser.

But only if you view shit with the right attitude.

It is perfectly normal and acceptable to express disgust and anger when you suddenly found yourself pushed into a pool of shit.

But what happens after that?

Your situation certainly will not improve if you simply struggle recklessly while spewing vulgarities and visualising horrible deaths for those 'responsible' for your predicament.

Anyway, struggling recklessly will only serve to sink you deeper and faster.

And when you occupy your mind with angry and revengeful or self-pity thoughts, there is no room to start thinking about just how you can extradite yourself from that unpleasant pool like a champ.

Now, having said all that, I have to say that I am not beyond thinking angry and revengeful or self-pitying thoughts when I get thrown in to a pool of shit myself.

It is only human to do that, and I am no saint.

But I have been practising what I am now preaching so far in my life up till now.

And I am happy that I have become stronger and wiser as a result of those pools of shit I sometimes got thrown in, or accidetally fell into either by my own carelessness or a bad stroke of luck.

I must add this disclaimer though: I have no way of predicting how I will react to the next such incident, and I might be a very angry or self-pitying fool who's doomed to be stuck there for a while.

But I know if that happens, I will come to my senses sooner or later.

Life is full of shit...thank goodness for that.

It's the season of broken hearts

Contrary to popular belief, I do have a heart to break.

But my heart is intact this June (I really think I am getting really good at protecting it from unnecessary abuses by undeserving parties), while elsewhere, hearts seem to be breaking left, right and center every few seconds.

And I am starting to think that I should seriously consider a career in nursing broken hearts back to health.

I have been having plenty of practise recently, you see.

It's weird, it's like a contagious disease that is getting out of control, the Broken Heart Syndrome is afflicting a hell lot of people out there.

Close friends aside, I am even receiving calls from friends that I hardly keep in touch with (still close friends,nevertheless), seeking a listening ear and a few consoling words.

June is ending soon...for their sake, let's hope everyone will go back to being happy real soon...with or without their current partners.

Balm for the copywriter's soul

Chanced upon this quotable quote while surfing the net in the name of work. It's indeed balm for the copywriter's soul (or anyone who does a lot of writing on a daily basis)...especially one who recently had to call in the CSI team to investigate the case of her missing brain.

"Writing is hard work. A clear sentence is no accident. Very few sentences come out right the first time, or even the third time. Remember this as a consolation in moments of despair. If you find that writing is hard, it's because it is hard. It's one of the hardest things that people do." - William Zinsser

Like what it advised, I will certainly remember this as a consolation in moments of despair...before I tear out my hair, chew off my fingers or anything similarly drastic like that.

My favourite things

My Victorian-ish lampshade...completed in record speed in the wee hours

My D-I-Y Handpainted "Swarovski Crystals" Nokia 6170...now with zero trade-in value, but it is perfectly alright by me.

My whimsical boudoir...one that I spent countless hours, days and nights to pack, paint and hammer into shape on a minimal budget and with minimal manpower - me & myself!

My virgin 80cm x 80cm acrylic-on-canvas painting...one that I insisted on doing amidst well-meaning advices that I might be throwing good money away on this big piece of canvas and the amount of paint involved, since I had never done any acrylic painting nor canvas painting of any kind before. Well, I was prepared to accept an "abstract" painting should I fail, thus I went ahead with it - and took extra care to ensure it is a reasonably acceptable piece of work.

Joan Chan, and her lessons on life...

There was this article in Straits Times Life section last Christmas about young women in Singapore who were cornered by cancer at a time in their lives where they should be pretty much carefree and free to map out their dreams and ambitions as if they would live forever.

The featured real-life stories were all full of admirable strength and spirit on the part of the female protagonists. In particular, the story of Joan Chan stood out, the 20-year-old who had to battle tongue cancer from the day she took in this devastating news from her doctor at all of 18.

Going by the magnitude of the situation she was caught in, the physically- and emotionally-traumatic experiences she had to deal with over the course of her treatments, which involved major operations, chemotherapy and radiotherapy, and inevitably, the worries about money...it was probably not expected of her to remain exceedinly strong and positive in the face of all these. Yet she had, and her feat had touch and inspired many.

In my opinion, she had won the battle, though she passed away peacefully last week in her sleep after an earlier decision to terminate treatment.

Like what she had written in her blog, I am not exactly the kind of person to do very little else but whine and grip in the face of problems. We both believe in focusing on thinking about the best way to tackle the problem in question, and then putting it into action.

I have always thought of myself as a fighter like her, and I always believe I will be able to find the strength to see myself through any predicament.

However, after reading about her ordeal, I truly wonder if I can deal with what she had faced in the same brilliant way of hers.

I sincerely hope none of us will ever have to find out the answer to this question about ourselves.

Whatever the case, I will always remind myself of Joan the next time I am caught in situations that I find daunting. Situations which, I believe, will no doubt be only a teeny weeny fraction of what Joan had taken on, and won.