Dawn is back

I finally had a haircut.

I was due to travel by coach to KL for a speed-trip (we went on Sunday morning and was due to return on Monday afternoon) with a friend, and I was determined that my caveman-ish hair should not get in the way (it's tough to lie back comfortably on a coach seat for
5 hours straight with a fat ponytail and a cap).

Thus, the night before the trip, I trooped down to Suntec City for some shearing action by a trusted hairstylist. And I literally felt a weight lifted off me the moment he unceremoniously lopped off a huge chunk of my hair.

I said 'unceremoniously' because seconds after we agreed on how short my new hairstyle should be, he abruptly grabbed my chest-length hair and chopped it all off to chin-lenth in one swift move, without warning, before proceeding to discard those hair into a dustbin. He's lucky I am not one of those girls who develop a love affair with their long hair and need to be mentally prepared and say a proper farewell before those prized hair are gone...or he would have a bawling nutcase in his salon.




The new hairstyle is choppy around the crown area and just long enough to be pulled back into a ultra-short ponytail at the back with the help of some bobby pins.


P.S. My friend took one look at my new hairstyle and exclaimed, "Dawn is back!" I used to sport short-cropped hair which was similar to that that for many years...sans the ponytail.
After experimenting with various forms of medium- to long-hair in the past 2 years, I guess I still feel most like myself in short, choppy styles. Like how my friend put it, "It's very Dawn".

Why

There were some bad news recently...bad news that sent our hearts plummeting down to the pits again after a short period of
near-normalcy.

I don't feel like going into the details (neither do I have the energy
to do so), but the basic situation is, we had been lulled by initial triumphs into thinking that my aunt's battle with cancer is going to be one easy-enough victory...we had forgotten how unpredictable and volatile the enemy could be.

Waking up to that fact after all those hopeful times is tough.

But we are still going to remain hopeful.

Sometimes, it feels like my brand of optimism in this situation is supported solely by hopes and hopes alone, and not by any facts or figures.

But what good will a gloomy face and heavy heart achieve?

Thus, hopeful we shall be...though it is not always going to be easy.

We will all try.

祝你生日快乐

致：一直莫名影响着我的你

很高兴知道你的事业正处于如日中天的阶段。

希望在接下来的日子里，你能继续在你生命中的各个环节得到你所要的一切。。。不过我想，以你那过人的智慧和待人接物的本领，那绝对不是问题。

无论如何，最重要的是，祝你一直快乐，一直健康！; )

三千烦恼丝

I am desperately in need of a haircut.

It's been way more than a year since my ass had warmed a salon seat, and I am starting to resemble a caveman.

Not that anyone can tell though, since I keep my hair tied up nearly 100% of the time...sometimes even when I sleep.

Even my mum was stunned to realise the real length of my hair when she was greeted by a long-haired me after I had just rose from bed one morning.

Anyway, I have decided to transform my hair into a choppy style that extends just slightly below the chin...short enough not to irritate the hell out of me whenever I shampoo my hair, yet long enough to offer flexible styling - or at least, to be tied up into a 'messy' ponytail with the assistance of some bobby pins.

Now, the task at hand is to figure out the exact style that I have in mind, gather up reference pictures and muster up enough courage to troop down to the salon.

Courage is required because, as all girls who had went through the trauma of a bad haircut at least once in their lives would know, sometimes, all it takes is a wrong snip here and an extra snip there, and your life is over before you know it.

Wish me luck.

Chalet

The Sixsome is all set to imbibe a serious amount of beer and ingest loads of sinful BBQ-ed food at Downtown East on 28 to 29 Dec.

Or rather, The Fivesome - since Dear Paul is skipping it
in the name of work.

Anyway, it's gonna be the slightly belated birthday celebration
for My Love.

The last time the same Fivesome congregated and bonded over bottles of red wine and cheese, a very interesting topic came up and we ended up having a really introspective call-out session on speakerphone with Dear Paul (who, as usual, wasn't with us).

I wonder if beer and BBQ-ed food would loosen us up
the same hilarious way...or if I should bring on the wine again.

Anyway, I believe this little "getaway" from the hustle and bustle of our daily lives would be good for all of us. Seeing that a holiday out of Singapore together is not possible, a full day and night of supermarketing (for the beer and food), lounging, BBQ-ing,
beer-gurgling and nonsensical bantering would have to do.

Since I've never been to the Downtown East chalet, I just hope
it will be nice, clean and spacious enough for us to roll around in
when we are nicely inebriated ; )

********************************************************

Speaking of being nicely inebriated, I think The Sixsome are progressively finding it harder and harder to reach that state.
Recent outings had shown that we were getting very proficient in venturing from Stage Zero straight to Stage ZZZ in a matter of
a few mild and absolutely harmless drinks.

Age is catching up with us.

Basking in happiness

There's quite a bit to be happy about recently.

My best friend a.k.a. 死贱货finally said "I Do" last Saturday, and I can tell the hubby loves her loads. After wandering from relationship to relationship through the years, she has now found someone she feels she's ready to welcome into her life permanently. At the risk of sounding maudlin, this marriage so warms my heart.

The next happy issue: My fave aunt is responding exceptionally well to her chemotherapy treatments. And she's feeling good and healthy enough to go about her daily life normally, and has even resumed her freelance hairdressing work at home. She has also put on 3kg ever since. This scenario is a far cry from a few months ago when she suddenly became so thin and frail and could barely ingest anything, not even liquid diet. We were so depressed and worried about her condition then and there were so many sleepless nights. Those days were marked by tears and fears. Thankfully, everything is looking up now.

As for myself, I just need to figure out just where exactly I want to take my career next and I will be really happy. For the last nearly 7 years, I was able to work through nights and immense stress just to do as best a job I can with each and every project simply because I knew my goals. I am not used to living without specific career goals. It scares me. However, it makes my mum and my aunts very happy to learn that I am seriously considering switching career haha. They don't care what I do next, as long as it doesn't require me to work my brain 24/7 and have late nights. I know I am lucky to have such supportive family...people who only want me to be well and healthy even at the risk of earning much less. Even though we have plenty of disagreements and even fierce arguments sometimes, I know that these are people who truly love me and care about me and, for that, I am feeling truly blessed.

***************************************************

My friends and I had been counting our respective lucky stars recently, and we realised that despite the many ups and downs in our lives, despite the occasional pool of shit that we fell into sometimes, we really do have a pretty nice life and plenty to be grateful about after all.

And one of those things to be grateful about is our friendship. Over the years, we had all went through different types of drama (of varying degree in intensity) in our individual lives. And we had helped to see one another through those episodes. Sometimes, it's just a matter of being there to listen, to offer support and encouragement to whoever's in 'trouble'. Other times, it involved more. I know people who have a wide network of friends but yet do not have anyone that they can count on to be there for them in trying times, or simply, a friend whom they can share their more private thoughts with.

Thus, we do know that we are really lucky to have one another - when we really need to sob our hearts out (which is hardly...cos none of us are crybabies and we all have pretty strong characters), we know where to find those supportive shoulders. And when we have reasons to jump for joy, we know there are people who will be really pleased for us.

***************************************************

I can't say I am 100% happy right now, for that are still stuff that I am worrying over, things that I need to get sorted out, issues that I wish do not exist and so on. But that's life. It can never be perfect. And that's probably what make us grow wiser and stronger too, as we make our best attempts to get over the obstacles. Life is more interesting that way, anyway.

I am gonna hit the bed and think happy thoughts now! Night! : )

Project Redemption: Progress Report

I've been making conscious efforts to shower and crawl into bed as early as possible.

It's got to a point where "Oh shit" will reverberate in my head if bed-time happens at 12am instead of my ideal of 10pm (though the earliest I've managed so far is 10.45pm).

Discipline aside, this is a marked improvement in mindset as I used to go to bed at any time between 3am - 7am, even if I was not bogged down by work, and did not find it an issue at all.

I've also been making conscious efforts to wake up early for a good breakfast.

By early, I mean 7 - 9am. And by good breakfast, I refer to the intensely healthy food that my mum serves up on a daily basis.

One of such is sandwiches with eggs-cum-melted-cheese spread, along with home-grown beansprouts and bean-sprout leaves, a generous splash of some mixed-bran granules and grounded black sesame, a whole chopped tomato, and a sprinkling of black pepper. The breakfast will usually be paired to a mug of Ensure (vanilla flavoured food supplement drink...it comes with loads of vitamins and minerals and such) and it will be concluded with a pear or apple.

Veggies and fish feature heavily in my lunch and dinner as well. And because I am trying hard to fatten up, I am now eating 2 - 4 full bowls of rice per meal. I know this might not be the healthiest way to put on weight but I can't think of any more effective way to do it. Any suggestion?

As for my A-Jog-A-Day programme...it's not really running as smoothly as I would like it to...yet. But trust me, I will work on it.

Oh, another thing, I have also been faithfully downing homegrown wheatgrass every night. It is intensely vile stuff, but it is intensely beneficial for health. I have been drinking it nightly for a while now, but even after all these time, I still find it as vile as ever.

Now, one last note before I call it a night...I loooooooooove my mum!!! Even if I were to end up disgustingly stinky rich one day, I will still insist that being my mum's daughter is the best thing that happened to me in this lifetime! ; )

Project Redemption

It's official - I've embarked on a healthy lifestyle campaign.

I've been reading up on plenty of health-related articles online and I'm freaked out by the m-a-n-y ways our health can go wrong as a result of seemingly harmless enough habits.

For the past 7 years, I've been working my ass off to get better at what I do at work, as well as to meet all the merciless deadlines. Going without a second's shut-eye for over 30 hours at a stretch was common. Going without food for more than 24 hours (due to stress and lack of energy to get food while stuck in the office over weekends) was common. Add to that the vices of my personal lifestyle over the years, I am really more than a teeny bit worried about what all that had done to my health.

My fave aunt's recent cancer relapse did not help too.

Thus, I have resolved to change my lifestyle and dietary habits from now on.

I used to turn up my nose when some friends talked about healthy living. In those foolish days, healthy living seemed like a completely good waste of life (yes, I was that foolish). I had believed that I was much too young to be concerned with healthy living.

It also never really crossed my mind that I was doing my liver, kidney, bone marrow, and who knows what else, a whole lot of injustice and harm whenever I worked through one stressful night after another. I thought burning the midnight oil to get a job done well was simply a matter of discipline and a mind over body issue. And I thought indulging in long nights out everytime I had a chance to was a good way to relieve stress and to reward myself for hard days' work. Gawd, I can't believe how I could have been so foolish.

So anyway, it's high time to make up to my health for all the wrongs I had done it in the past. I'm very particular about my dietary habits now and I am going to cut out or at least cut down on all the unhealthy (but sadly, delectable) stuff that I used to enjoy, such as fermented bean curd, potato chips, soft drinks etc. I'm not saying that I will deny myself those food for the rest of my life, but I am just going to make sure that they are consumed in moderation, and only occasionally.

I am also making it a point to be asleep by 12am at the latest every night, preferably even earlier.

And I've started my A-Jog-A-Day programme! I felt so good after going on that first 2.4km run of my programme! The run was not only good for health, but it also lifted my mood considerably! As I was cooling down after the run, I took deep gulps of the fresh morning air and also took in my surrounding - the bright early morning sun, the merry chirping of the birds...it was such a lovely experience.

These pictures of a sweaty and stinky me marked the completion of the first run of my A-Jog-A-Day programme:

By the way, I just heard on the news that the latest studies had proven once and for all that cancer is caused by prolonged period of unhealthy lifestyle and habits, and not due to sudden traumas etc. Fresh fruits, veggies and brans are also indeed excellent for fending off cancers. On the other hand, red meat, dairy products and food high in fat content should be taken in moderation.

Apart from the first bits about "prolonged period of unhealthy lifestyle and habits VS sudden traumas", the rest all sound like common sense, I know. But speaking from personal experience, it seems like we all sometimes choose to ignore common sense.

Here's another interesting result the studied yield: Taller people are more prone to cancers.

That would be the second reason to be pleased about my height, then. The first reason is that my height is good for hanging out the laundry, as it is much harder for me to fall over the parapet.

Alright, I am calling it a night now...my bed is beckoning.

生日快乐 Part II

庆生过后，在房间里拍的闷骚照。。。

生日快乐

生日当天接到了一个让我心情跌倒谷底的消息，原本很想取消当晚的庆生约会，但是最后还是没那么做。一来，是因为Sixsome一早就已经特地安排好把那个星期五留给我，所以临时取消会很扫兴。二来，我认为或许我们Sixsome到外头吃吃喝喝，聊些有的没的，可以暂时扫走心中的那堆愁云惨雾。

果然，在一片无厘头的玩玩闹闹中，加上酒精的麻醉力，心情的确好很多。。。甚至会有好几十分钟的时间完全忘记了有烦恼。








我的生日愿望一定会成真，明年的生日也一定会收到我最想收到的礼物！

很不快乐的生日

妈妈刚刚告诉我，医生说，即使靠打针，阿姨也只有大概5个月的时间。

而如果因为C-型肝炎的关系不能接受打针，那就得放弃治疗，只能服用止痛药。

现在，我们最后一线希望就完完全全寄托在曾在25年前从鬼门关把我阿姨拉回来的草药，“老鼠芋”。

虽然说是还有最后一线希望，而奇迹也的确有可能出现 (就像25年前一样)，但是，该准备的还是得准备的。。。比如说，需要阿姨大概整理并交代好一些事情。

我知道如果我姐姐听见大家谈论这件事，一定会很生气也不能够谅解这样的做法。但是，我姐姐从来就不是理性派。

这个时候，其实大家都需要多一点的理性，才能够给予阿姨真正最大的精神上和实际上的帮助和支持。

阿姨需要的不是我们的脆弱或眼泪。我们越冷静，越坚强，越理智，对阿姨就越好。

至少，在阿姨面前需要那样。

离开了阿姨的视线和听觉范围，哭得多大声都可以。

但是，哭完后还是得让自己冷静，这样才能保持清晰的脑袋来好好的想想该怎么照顾阿姨，怎么开解她。

阿姨现在需要从我们身上得到斗下去的信心和力量。我们又怎么可以显得比阿姨还沮丧呢？


********************************************

今年过农历新年时大家明明都好好的。

为什么为什么为什么为什么为什么为什么为什么为什么为什么为什么为什么为什么为什么为什么会这样？？？？？？？？？？？？？？？？？？！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

我不要这样。

我从小就对阿姨说以后她老了我会养她。。。她现在还不够老！


********************************************

明年生日最想收到的礼物，就是阿姨已经彻彻底底地战胜了病魔的医生报告，并且过着非常健康快乐的日子。还有，自己和所有的家人和好朋友们也一样的平安，健康，快乐。



人生这么无常，我还能相信什么？

The Number Game

After a hiatus of 6 years, in just 4 days, I'll be another year older on a Friday once more.

The last time my birthday fell on a Friday, I had turned 21.

This time round, I will be just 3 years short of the big 3-0.

Shudder.

I feel like someone had knocked me out cold the night after I blew out my candles 6 years ago, and suddenly, I am now waking up to an older-but-not-necessarily-wiser me.

Wouldn't it be rather nice if life comes with a RESET button and each one of us were born with the right to press the button at least once at any point in our life after the age of, say, 25? When we would probably have accumulated enough silly mistakes and are wise enough to realise (and regret) it?

It would be even better if we can decide on which age and period in our life to return to for that fresh start - I most certainly have no wish to experience PSLE, O'Levels and all the assorted tests and examinations in Poly all over again.

More importantly, we must be able to retain our current "insights" even after our lives are reset, thus ensuring that we do not go down the same old road and repeat the same old "mistakes".

If I could choose, I would return to Year 2000...that would give me 10 long years to get everything in my life on track before I turn 30 (backed by the "insights" I accumulated by now), instead of the 3 years that now remain.

Ooooh...that would be sooooooo wonderful!!! ; )

P.S. I can still remember most of the details of my 21st birthday vividly...from the preparations leading up to the day, to having to purchase a few 寿桃 from Hang Kang Teochew Restaurant on the day itself for a photoshoot for WORK, to staying late in the office while a whole bunch of friends and my sister waited patiently for me for at least 2 hours at the cafe, to a surprise cake and "Happy Birthday" rendition from my then-bosses and then-colleagues...etc etc etc... I can also remember how I celebrated my 22nd, 23rd, 24th, 25th and 26th birthdays...and now, here I am...nearly staring at my 27th in the face.

P.P.S. I am not complaining about turning a year older. I am damn g-r-a-t-e-f-u-l for that...it means I am healthy and well. I am not concerned about growing older (read: ageing); I am more concerned about not growing wiser and more...enlightened..

P.P.P.S. Ok ok yea I confess I do worry occasionally about turning all wrinkly later on in life and other equally vile stuff...but...believe me, I do fret more about other bigger, more important issues of life - such as whether I can afford Botox when the time comes.

P.P.P.P.S. Just kidding. Seriously.

Project Spring-Cleaning (of the room, the soul and my life)

My whimsical boudoir is in desperate need of a solid mess-and-dirt elimination session.

But though the mind is willing, the flesh is w-e-a-k.

I can't quite seem to muster up enough energy to go through the whole dust-wiping, stuff-straightening, fan-cleaning, sweeping and mopping routine.

It just seems so daunting - although I know if I can just get down to it, it will not be that monumental a task; it's only a room, after all.

This afternoon, I had already tackled some of the more major tasks...
I had laundered my sheets and the curtains and hung them up to dry. And just before this posting, I had thrown out some magazines that
no longer have any value to me (read: no articles or fashion/hairstyle/
make-up pictures that can serve as future reference).

Now, at this precise moment, I am wondering if I should head off to
a nice shower and jump into my sheet-less bed to catch some sleep,
or continue to restore my room to its usual near-pristine state so that
I can wake up to a renewed zest for life.

And yes, you read it right - I just equated a clean and neat room with my zest for life. I really do not know how I can go about making this make sense, but one way to explain it is that a refreshed room often means a refreshed state of mind for me. When my room is in a mess and I allow it to stay that way, from experience, it will mean I'll allow other aspects of my life to slip too. And once I can make myself go through the whole process of straightening my room, my spirit will feel brand new all of a sudden, and I'll want to get to work straightening
my life as well.

It's not a theory...it's just the way it is with me.

Oki, that's it for now.

I gotta get back to deciding if I should go to bed or continue to clean up my room and mind.

致：线人一号

感谢你提供了非常有利的情报。有机会一定请你吃Fresh Fishie Fishie Sashimi!

还有一件事。。。我记得我对你的称呼一直都是
“妹妹”(不是“Ah Pui”)。。。对你姐则是
“Ah Dear"。

而你们俩也一直都称呼我“小姐姐”。。。

习惯是很难改的，而这个称呼其实也超超超亲切和
“有味道”，因为它代表着童年的岁月和回忆。。。
但问题是，如果如今我们通电话或是终于碰头时，
你们还高呼我“小姐姐”，会不会。。。怪怪的？

哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈。。。

其实还蛮想试试看，毕竟已经 好-多-年 没听过了，
可以重温旧梦！

我们很快就会重逢，ok! 要给我一点时间好好保养保养一下，做多几次masks, 还有再设计一个够劲够年轻的造型，那当我和你们这些青春无敌的家伙走在街上时，才不会一直觉得 我-的-青-春-小-鸟-一-去-不-回-来！

Fishie, Fishie, are you reading this?

Hi Fishie,

I'll certainly send your regards to 五姨!

There's only one teeny problem, though...I'll need to know the name you go by in the real world. And I guess it's pretty safe to say it's certainly not Fishie... ; )

Without a doubt, you must be someone who has a pretty good knowledge of my basic family tree...like a relative or an ex-neighbour. But who exactly are you? I've some ideas, but I like to know for sure. Do, do, do enlighten me! Thank you!


XOXO,
Dawn


P.S. I did try to get an answer by visiting your two blogs. But one was a group blog and the other directed me to Yahoo's homepage instead...

求佛祖保佑。。。

最近越来越感觉到人生的无常和无奈。

一位看着我长大(也一直疼着我长大)的阿姨前些日子被诊断出患上癌症。至于是什么癌症，到目前为止还有待进一步检查。

阿姨在大约25年前曾得过一次淋巴癌，而当时痊愈以后健康也一直相当好，从来就没什么大问题。。。直到现在。

雪上加霜的是，阿姨最近也有很严重的胃酸问题。。。发作时，能把胃给“烧”得从内痛到外，连洗澡时从莲蓬头打下来的水打在胃部附近的皮肤时也会痛不欲生。晚上即使睡着了，也会每隔两，三个小时就痛醒。

因为胃酸过多的问题，阿姨连正常进食都不行。只能每个小时都塞一小片面包或饼干以垫一垫胃。即使现在情况有稍微好转，吃饭时，也顶多能吃四五口饭。而能吃的食物种类也不多，因为她的胃实在太不太能消化东西也太脆弱了。。。就连很普通的葡萄糖也会引起胃酸过度分泌。

也因为这样，阿姨的身子变得很虚弱，精神也很差。

身体已经够难受的了，脑子里还会不由自主地一直担心病情和即将得去面对的漫长康复之路。。。真 的 很 令 人 心 疼。

在医生还没透露有把握是癌症时，胃酸问题也没把她折腾的那么辛苦时，阿姨还能相当坚强。她也告诉我们她一直都是一个很坚强的人，所以不用担心她。我从来没有质疑过她的坚强，但是，当一个人必须得去面对一条那么难走的路时，脆弱绝对是正常的。

阿姨其实也一直为了另一件事心烦。。。她很不愿意看见她身边的人因为她的事而伤心，烦恼。尤其是我另外一位和她同住了差不多二十年的阿姨。因为两个人一直同住在一起那么多年的关系，所以感情也很自然的比和其他兄弟姐妹来的深厚。这段期间，这位阿姨也非常用心地照顾着生病了的阿姨，也非常心疼她。看这她们俩彼此心疼和担心对方。。。更难受。

这几个星期以来，妈妈，姐姐和其他阿姨们也都一直轮流到医院和阿姨家里陪伴和照顾她。至于我，则暂时被下令不准靠近阿姨的范围，只能和她通电话，因为我的鼻子不听话，一直打喷嚏和流鼻涕，有如一台流动细菌机器。一旦鼻子恢复正常，我也会加入陪伴和照顾阿姨的行列。

现在，也真的只能每天早晚两次很诚恳地请求佛祖保佑阿姨能够遇上一位医术非常高明又有责任感的好医生，给于她非常及时和正确的诊断和非常及时和正确的治疗。还有保佑阿姨胃酸的问题能够得到很好的控制，至少让她在接受治疗的过程中能够健壮一些，不至于那么辛苦。还有还有，保佑阿姨能够更坚强，更乐观，更积极地和病魔抗战到底。。。打一场非常漂亮的胜仗！

祝阿姨从此以后能够一直健健康康， 平平安安，快快乐乐地好好生活！！！

求佛祖保佑！！！

In loving memory of Monster Tan : : 24 September 1994 to 3 October 2007

Today's the day Monster the Cocker leaves her long-time owner/companion, Lyonne, for the inevitable journey to Doggie Heaven.

However, her intelligence, graceful demeanour, beauty, and most of all, her obvious adoration of Lyonne, will stay with me forever.

I will also always remember the joy and relief she brought us whenever she's on Dog Therapy Duty at the office...where she patiently tolerated countless requests from us silly (and stressed out) humans to perform "Paw Paw", "Roll Over", "Spin" and such.

While I am writing all these, I guess Monster is likely to be flying
first-class on the doggie plane to Doggie Heaven. In fact, she's probably sipping sparkling mineral water from a crystal bowl right now, served up by a suave Jack Russell air steward.

I will miss you so much, Monster...

Even though I was aware that you were probably already pushing the limit of the typical life expectancy all these while, I did not really think that you would be gone so soon.

Wherever you may be now, I hope you will realise just how wonderful a doggie you had been...and how much love and joy you had helped to spread around.

We all love you, Monster~~~!!!

HDB Flats = Swanky Apartments?

With the advent of sleeker exterior structures and well-planned interior layouts, and a growing numbers of young families which appreciate design in general as well as the services of interior designers, HDB living has managed to shook off quite a bit of its poorer-cousin-of-private-housing image for a number of years now.

In fact, today, it is entirely possible to fashion a perfectly chic apartment out of a typical HDB flat, be it old or new, so long as one has a generous-enough renovation budget and a good sense of style - or the assistance of a brilliant interior designer and contractor.

And it is all going to get even better in a few years' time.

At the National Day Rally this year, Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong had unveiled plans to transform new, middle-aged and old HDB estates into more vibrant homes for Singaporeans.

After reading a report on one of the projects in this "Remaking Our Heartland" endeavour in last Saturday's papers, it seems to me that "vibrant homes" is an understatement..."swanky apartments" is probably a more fitting description.

In about 3 to 4 years' time, work is going to commence on "Dawson Estate", which will be located in Queenstown, one of Singapore's more matured housing estates.

Three top home-grown architect firms were commissioned to to conceptualise three separate precincts for this new estate; an unprecedented move in the history of HDB.

The results? Flats done condo-style and very nearly every bit as sophisticated and sleek as their richer cousins, from the facades to the interior structures.

Some of the flats designed by SCDA Architects, one of the three firms involved in the Dawson Estate project, will feature tall ceilings with space for lofts - and gorgeous floor-to-ceiling windows, of course (see "artist's impression" below).

It is really pretty exhilarating to imagine that one day, many years down the down, whenever "HDB flats" are mentioned, our minds would automatically visualise an image like the ones above, instead of the "typical HDB flats" that most of us grew up in. (That doesn't mean I am not grateful and appreciative of the public housing that we get to enjoy all these years throughout our nation-building history - it has been great all these time, it's just that I am thrilled it is going to be even better than great in time to come.)

In fact, I wouldn't be surprised at all if the government decided to come up with a snazzier replacement name for "HDB" to go with this new era in public housing for Singapore.

I can't wait to see all these changes taking shape. The only downer is, as it will be a few years before work will even commence on the first of these new flats, and many more years following that before they become a regular part of the Singapore lifestyle instead of a novelty,
I will practically be an ancient old lady by then.

Will "Anonymous" please stand up?

Sometimes, I think people around me have more faith in me than me myself.

I wonder if I could call that blind faith?

After all, they don't know me and my weaknesses as well as I do.

Wahahahahahaha...

Anyway, it really made my day to receive a rather inspiring comment from "Anonymous" on my last posting.

"Anonymous said... You may think about it, but don't dwell on it. You are still young, and as far as I know, very talented in what you do. Keep it up, and find a place where you can shine, and who knows, you can be famous one day."

A booster like that is most welcome any time!

From the sound of it, we seem to know each other pretty well, Anonymous. Though, hahaha, you kind of made me sound like I am aiming to be a "Zhang Ziyi" or "Stefanie Sun"....which couldn't be further from reality.

Anyway, I guess it must be a mistake (or laziness on your part?) that you ended up as "Anonymous" when posting that comment?

So come on, kindly enlighten me on your identity so I can give buy you a coffee or something the next time we meet...while I try to make you tell me more nice things about myself.

Till then!

我怀念的。。。

七年前的今天必没有发生什么了不起的大事。

但这个日子，似乎已经被深深地刻在我的脑海里。

一直以来，9月27日总是会让我缅怀和莫一个人的一场交集。

可是到了今天，这个日子只是让我想起这一路上的自己。

如果时光真的能够倒流，若我能够回到2000年从新出发，今天的我，会是怎样的我？

To sum it up...

Life's been busy.

My mind's been wandering.

I am probably going a little crazy.

But otherwise, everything's reasonably dandy.

New Toy

After a decent amount of long and hard thinking (5 days - and another painful 30 minutes outside the Starhub shop at Cuppage), I finally made myself the deliriously happy owner of the Samsung Ultra Edition II U700.

Having gone through a few 'bimbotic' phones that prided form over function in my years as a mobile phone user, I now own a phone that's not only supremely chic and sleek, but which also boasts just enough high-tech trappings to silence most tech snobs.

Presenting, my little bundle of joy..

*MUACKS*

I Heart Singapore

Catching the National Day Parades on TV has always been a private affair that takes place in my room with no other person around but me and myself.

It has to be so for it can be embarrasing and awkward for all involved if I were to catch it with anyone else.

You see, I always, always, always sob uncontrollably (tears of pride) the moment those familiar and 'traditional' NDP songs come on, such as We Are Singapore.

I will sing along and take the pledge with gusto too.

And when the fireworks start, I will face the direction of my window and do a mouth-splitting silent scream of "Happy Birthday, Singapore!".

I know I probably sound like a real nutcase to you by now, but I am absolutely proud of Singapore and what she has managed to achieve at a such a young age (for a country). Especially when we started off 42 years ago on such shaky grounds.

More than that, I am truly grateful to be reaping the benefits of her achievements. And I am always amazed at my good fortune to be born a Singaporean.

However, I do know plenty of Singaporeans who have tons of bones to pick with the government and the way the country is being managed.

In fact, I have my fair share of dissatisfactions at times too.

Still, let's look at the big picture. Thanks to the never-let-up efforts of the government, we get to grow up - and continue to build our lives - in a society that is not only safe and stable, but also full of promise. One where the vast majority of the citizens never have to worry about not having a roof over their heads, about going hungry, or the ability to secure an education of up to tertiary level for themselves or their offsprings.

That's provided that we also take personal responsibility for managing our life, career and finance well, of course.

Which brings me to another issue - there are just too many Singaporeans out there who cry that they detest living in a nanny state. And yet, they are also the ones who are quick to kick up a big fuss whenever they encounter a situation in their lives that they think can be prevented or resolved if only the government would throw them a lifeline in the form of a government policy.

Now, the point is, Singapore is not perfect, nor will it ever be. No country will ever be perfect. Just like you and me.

And more importantly, a country will never be perfect because it can never please everybody at the same time. Along the way, certain unpleasant or unpopular decisions will have to be made in view of the long-term effects. It's just the way things got to be done sometimes - for the sake of greater good. While we only see how a certain policy is going to affect us right here right now, the people responsible for running the country are likely to have considered its possible positive effects up to a few decades ahead. While we only see what a certain policy will mean to our respective lifestyles, the policy-makers need to think in terms of an entire nation.

Of course, I am not suggesting that we should all flash serene smiles instead of pouting and stamping our feet each time we are reminded of the extra dollars and cents we now need to fork out for our purchases thanks to the increase in GST. In fact, occasionally, some issues can even irk me enough to spew a good amount of obscenities. Though I can see reason, I am still not saintly enough (and will never be) to not curse and swear a fair bit when my life is affected.

Yet, yet, yet...at the end of the day, I am still extremely proud and grateful to be a Singaporean.

Once upon a time, serious doubts were cast on Singapore's ability to be independent. However, she has made it to see the day when foreign governments are eager to tap into her experience and expertise in transforming and managing a country.

In some ways, I find the struggles and success of Singapore highly inspirational to me in a personal manner.

She was caught in bad circumstances with the odds stacked against her, and there did not seem to be much that she could use as leverage to launch herself out of the trench. But with careful planning, some bold strategic moves and loads of determination, she did it, and she continues to consistently ready herself to take on new challenges in an everchanging world.

As Singaporeans, we are blessed with the kind of security and stability that serves as an ideal canvas for our personal aspirations. The kind that many in other countries can only dream of.

It's high time we realised just how green our pasture is.

I love you, Singapore!

躲在衣柜的那一夜。。。

七年前七月至八月间的一个周日晚上，我接到了一通意想不到的电话。

为了能清楚且专心地好好和对方通话 (因为家里那台老爷电话老是发出沙沙声的杂音) ，我连人带电话地躲进了闷热的衣柜里，半蹲半坐地褒了将近一个多小时的“电话粥” 。

当时，电视上正播放着由郑彬辉 (Tay Ping Hui) 和沈倾剡 (Ix Shen) 主演的电视连续剧 <<随心所遇>>。


*** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***


七年后，在这七月至八月间，许久许久没在电视剧露面的沈倾剡(Ix Shen) 再次和郑彬辉 (Tay Ping Hui) 合演了<<保家卫国>>。

七年后，我再次如同七年前一样，有感人生和事业正处于一个全新的阶段。


*** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***


七年说长不长，说短也一点都不短。

这七年里，那位我超崇拜/欣赏的人物也有如登上了直升机一样，平步青云去了。

当然，在我认识他时，他的年龄和成就本来就不太成正比了。

至于我，这七年来就像是上了一堂理论兼实习课。。。虽然说不上是资优生，进度也不是很显著，甚至有些学习项目还可能“肥佬” 过，但是，现在的我已经更清楚该怎么去走接下来的路。

即使还是不会突飞猛进，但至少脚步会更坚定。

Seven Years In Never-Never Land

4 August 2000 was 7 long years ago.

But every little detail of that day remains vivid in my mind.

This date means a lot to me for various reasons - in particular, it was the day where two main aspects of my life officially took on a life of their own.

It was also the day where one innocent little prediction was made and subsequently forgotten, only to come true now.

Some days, I feel just like a jaded old granny who's lugging around bags and bags of life lessons and stories. And yet, occasionally, it seems to me that I am still that same relatively-carefree-19-going-on-20 girl all those 7 years ago.

Lalalalalalalalalalalalalala...

I'm turning psychic

No, seriously.

A series of dreams-turned-realities situations has prompted me to think that either Someone Up There is trying to send me a Message,
or I am really ready to start a business predicting the future through my dreams.


SITUATION 1

DREAM The Boyfriend of my good friend (let's name her 'A')
poured out his woes to me about the torn and tattered state of their relationship...clashes of personalities, habits and all.

REALITY I was roused from that dream by the incessant ringing of
my mobile. It was 'A'. In a cheerful sing-song voice that sounded just a tad too tight, she announced that it's all over with The Boyfriend.
After a particularly issues-fraught outing the night before, he had left for a business trip in the morning while she was still in bed, leaving behind an angst-filled letter in his wake. The letter detailed everything that's wrong with their relationship. The bottomline? He wanted a
re-think about The Future.

The dream and the reality wouldn't have weirded me out so much
if I had known that they had been experiencing difficulties in their relationship in recent times. It would have been normal if that's the case as the issue would probably sit on my mind a little. But I hadn't been giving their relationship much thought prior to the dream, since she had been regularly - and blissfully - assuring me that
all's well and nice.

And even The Boyfriend's appearance in my dream is weird,
since (A) I do not have a habit of dreaming about my friends' dudes, and (B) I don't know The Boyfriend all that well and I was never the main negotiator between them in times of past bust-ups. It would have made more sense for me to dream of 'A' crying on my shoulder instead.

More importantly, there's the timing of the dream and the call. Freaky.


SITUATION 2

DREAM Two sisters, Paprika and Pratasha, led a series of thrilling events in my dreamscape...events that I can't remember much of now.
I can only recall that I kept urging myself to keep in mind the name "Paprika". I also remember 'knowing' that she is the more important of the two heroines in my dream.

REALITY I was watching a documentary on Paris' worst rail crash in history on Arts Central the night after the dream when a trailer for a Japanese anime movie came on during the commercial break. However, I got distracted midway and missed the title of the movie.
A few minutes late, it came on again. This time, I caught the title. It's "Paprika".
:
Again, it would have been normal if I had been reading local mags or papers lately. Mentions (if any) of that movie might have crept into my consciousness without me realising so. But I haven't been reading local mags or papers recently (I rely solely on online news sites to keep in touch with the world these days).

What's more, 'Paprika' is a word that barely exists in my usual vocabulary. And I hadn't been near the potato chips aisle recently,
so there's little chance of that little word sneaking its way into my mind from a pack of chips. For the record, I have never bought or tasted anything Paprika-flavoured. This word simply isn't part of my life.

So what are the odds of me dreaming of a girl named Paprika and then chancing upon a movie by the title of 'Paprika' on a channel that
I hardly watch, less than 24 hours later? I am not a regular viewer of Arts Central. I used to be, but have not been so for quite a while.
I only tuned in to the documentary that fateful night after seeing its trailer on another channel.

I googled 'Paprika' the movie and found this synopsis:

In this Japanese anime epic, humanity's last bastion of privacy has finally been infiltrated by technology, the world of our dreams. The story centers on a new invention called the DC-Mini. With this revolutionary device, psychiatrists are now able to enter a patient's dreams in a therapeutic setting. But when an unknown assailant steals all of the devices, using them to enter peoples minds enacting mind control, chaos ensues as dreams begin to bleed into reality, and the thin line between the conscious and the unconscious begins to blur. Enter a young female researcher named Chiba, who takes it upon herself to delve into the newly anarchic dream world in order to set things straight. In this surreal realm her name is Paprika, and she's out to save the world.
















Note the premise that the movie is based upon. Note that line about dreams bleeding into reality. And note the female protagonist name. Freaky Freaky.


SITUATION 3

DREAM I'd turned Personal Assistant to Jolin Tsai and my task was to get ready a dress for her performance in my alma mater.
She fell sick at the eleventh hour and had to be admitted to hospital.
In another scene, Stefanie Sun confided in me that she could be preggers.

REALITY Of course I am no Personal Assistant of Jolin Tsai.
And of course Stefanie Sun is not preggers (well, I wouldn't know even if it's true, unless it's in the papers). But these two stellar money-printing machines appeared in completely separate stories in the front page of the same evening papers later that night. I saw it while picking up stuff at the supermarket.

Of course it's not uncommon for either Jolin Tsai or Stefanie Sun to make headlines. It's not even uncommon for them to be featured together on the same front page in a compare-and-contrast type of story. But when they appeared together in separate stories on the same front page of the same papers the same night that I had my dream in the morning, it left me feeling a bit weird out...again.
And again, those two characters had not been occupying my mind recently, and neither did I just hear any news relating to them.
This dream is not as freaky as the first two...but when I total them up, the freakiness index simply shoots to the sky. Freaky Freaky Freaky.

And that sums up why I think I am either turning psychic or
Someone Up There is cuing me to start paying attention
to my dreams. That is, one day, something important
(like 4 numbers) will be revealed to me via Channel Dreams.

Or maybe I have simply lost my marbles.

My Castle In The Air (Version 1.0)

One day, my dream house will be home to such beauties:

Attack of the Gigantic Fly Swatter in Old Hollywood

A friend sent me a picture of the $300-a-piece throne his company had so kindly bought to cushion each of their butts and backs while they slog it out at work.

Apparently, it is highly adjustable and so comfy that it completely justifies the price.

I certainly understand the importance of the comfort level of the office chair...it does make those 14-hour workdays much easier to bear.

However, let's not forget about aesthectic. An individual work space that's pleasing to its dweller's eyes is just as important.

So while I suspect I might never settle for any other office chair ever again once my butt touches this throne that my friend's butt is now resting on for 5 days a week (unless it's another even more expensive, even more comfy chair), I don't think I will ever get over its ugliness.

To be fair, this expensive piece of office furniture can be matched to words like 'sleek' and 'urban'.

But to little ol' me, it really is just a gigantic fancy fly swatter.

And now, this is the type of office chair that will make me look forward to heading to work any day. In fact, it might just yield even-better quality work from me.

Yes of course I realise that this classic-hollywood-ish piece doesn't look terribly comfy, but it's nothing that a nice white furry cushion and a curled-up sitting position won't solve.

And the bottomline is this: I probably wouldn't pay $300 for the gigantic fancy fly swatter (unless it really is that heavenly on the butt and back), but I would glady shell out $3,000 for this lovely old-world powerseat (which will probably make me a prime target of Deep Vein Thrombosis).

So there you have it - I am the epitome of those funny form-over-function people.

But only as far as non-living things-which-don't-count-as-a-huge-investment-like-houses are concerned. When it comes to the more financially serious stuff or humans, my good judgement will not be impaired by aesthetics.

Seldom, anyway.
.
.
.
.
.

Dawn's Fantasy Professional Persona

Oooh La La!!!

A little sunshine in a dark, dark world

I realise the title is a tad misleading.

To clear it up a bit, this blog entry is not about me suddenly chancing upon a glimmer of hope in Gloomyville.

Hell no, I am by default a happy lark these days.

You'd be justified in thinking that I might be a little down in the dump though, for my wobbly world is indeed in a glorious state of disarray. One that comes complete with irregular income (read: I've turned freelance for now), irregular hours (freelance doesn't mean I get to be freed from l-o-n-g working hours, albeit I'm based at home), and of course, the occasional emotional roller-coaster rides on a regular basis.

But surprise, surprise, I am feeling faaabulous, darrrling! Well, at least, I do feel that way most of the time - you'd have to excuse those

only-human downtime once in a while. I would blind you with a set of Hollywood-worthy pearly whites if I could, just to prove my point, but my dentist is holding them ransom till I hand over a minor fortune good enough for me to adopt a few World Vision children till well past my life expectancy.

So now, having set the facts straight on what this blog entry is not about, it's time to get the real topic going before you exit this site in frustrations, cursing and swearing that I am a lousy writer who didn't grasp the concept of economy of words nor the art of holding her readers' interest. Even more ghastly, one who's afflicted with a bad case of incoherence. That would be terrible. But there might just be some truth to it. Oh gawd.

Before this gets any worse, here's the topic of the day...*drumroll*...
Black Comedy.

I love black comedy. There is just so much beauty in the way these films are treated, where serious and disturbing subjects the likes of death, murder and sickness are played out in a humorous and satirical manner.

Normally, humour and satire would look out of place in such scenarios. Yet, they are like what a few squeezes of the lime is to Fried Hokkien Prawn Mee - they infuse a certain piquance to the films' heavy flavours.

At the same time, given the right plot/directing/acting, they tend to lend a heightened sense of poignancy to the characters' plights. In fact, the drama factor is usually a few notches higher than if the same subjects had been done in a typical high-octane way.

Most black comedy films I caught so far kicked off innocently with scenes where good cheer and a general sense of happiness seem to prevail. Then things began to go dangerously wrong, while the soundtrack maintained a determinedly light and pleasant note.

Like this particular music that's currently playing as you read this blog entry (play it now if you already turned it off...tsk tsk).

It's seems like any other easy-listening number at the beginning until the notes start to veer off-tangent and the mood shifts to something that's much darker and a little more dangerous.

This number, "Fairy Tales" by Great Uncles of the Revolution, would be perfect for one of the final few scenes of a black comedy where a femme fatale managed to get away with murder, literally.

In my warped imagination, at the start of the music, we see a femme fatale greeting her guests in a house in a cheery, animated fashion, with no tell-tale signs of what's to come. As the music continues, she's seen to be happily going about putting into action her intentions to kill, in an efficient manner.

The murder-in-progress scene then gently fades off to a scene of a nice open-air marketplace like those in European countries. A pair of shapely gams strolls past the various quaint little stalls, with the hem of a sundress swaying gently along to the movements. The owner of those gams stops to admire some roses. The camera moves in front of her and we see the murderous femme fatale taking a deep whiff of the blooms, a wide, innocent smile on her face. The film then signs off with a scene of the horrific mess of the murder site, with cops milling around collecting evidence, snapping pictures.

Obviously, these final few scenes should ideally incorporate an unexpected twist. But then I would need to work in a few more characters in order to do that, and I can't do that when there's not a story to begin with anyway. Ha.

Oh...and just so you know, in case you are in desperate need of some reassurances after reading this blog entry, I am perfectly sane and perfectly non-murderous. I don't even have a habit of entertaining frivolous murderous thoughts - ok, perhaps only when clients really, really, really rile me up.

But 'fess up, you are probably as guilty of that as I am.

P.S. Check out "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" here, starring the lovely Audrey Tautou.